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Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail and How to Set Yourself Up for Success in 2023



Did you know that only 9% of New Year’s Resolutions are actually successful?


This number may sound shocking, but when we think about how many of our own resolutions in past years have been successful, 9% doesn’t seem so unrealistic.


Such a high percentage of New Year’s Resolutions fail because of unhealthy behaviors and habits that are caused by our negative thoughts, beliefs, and expectations that we may not even be aware of. These deeply-held subconscious thoughts and beliefs tell us we aren’t enough and that we will never achieve our goals, but once we become aware of them, we can change our behavior and as a result, change our lives.


Most people subconsciously (sometimes even consciously) believe they are going to fail before they even start. They set unrealistic goals because deep down they want to reach those goals and be the ambitious person who achieves them, but they don’t believe they are that person.


They might think things will be different this year and they will magically transform into the person they want to be, but nothing changes if nothing changes. They are still stuck in a vicious cycle of bad habits and behaviors because those deep-seated negative thoughts continue to lie to them and wreak havoc on their goals.


Unfortunately these limiting patterns and beliefs are all too common.


The good news is, we can rewire our brains to think and behave differently.


How we handle conflict, setbacks, and negativity every day all lead back to the stories we tell ourselves and the things we believe. In order to change our daily habits, we must reframe the stories we tell ourselves. When we tell ourselves we aren’t committed enough, worthy enough, strong enough, or motivated enough, our behavior reflects that.


When we tell ourselves we are committed, worthy, strong, and motivated enough to achieve our goals and resolutions (even if we don’t truly believe it), then we will act in ways that prove that narrative right.


If it sounds like I’m telling you to lie to yourself, it’s because I am. Without even realizing it, you are actually lying to yourself all the time.


Many of your recurring thoughts, such as “I’m going to be late”, or “I am never going to complete this project on time,” aren’t even true. In most cases, you do show up on time and you do complete your projects by their deadlines. So why not shift those negative lies into positive ones that will benefit your life?


For example, I had a client who was struggling with confidence issues. She walked with her head down, shoulders slumped, avoided eye contact, and believed herself to be an insecure person who was unworthy of anyone’s attention. During our first session, I taught her to reframe those negative thoughts and beliefs that made her insecure by thinking of herself as a Victoria’s Secret model. At first, she thought it was ridiculous. “But I’m not a Victoria’s Secret Model,” she laughed. “Why would I lie to myself like that?” I told her that she was lying to herself every day by telling herself she was not enough, so why not lie about this?


Reluctantly, she agreed to give it a try. By our next session, she reported back that within the same week, 3 men had hit on her! Now, the goal was never to get men to hit on her, but it reflected the shift in her mindset and was proof that when she changed her beliefs about herself, it changed the way she carried herself. She walked with her head held high, chest out, looked people in the eye, and she radiated confidence, just like a Victoria’s Secret model.


This story is a perfect example of how our thoughts and beliefs change our behavior. A change as simple as believing she was someone with confidence and “swagger” rather than someone with confidence issues reflected on the outside. This simple mindset shift was only the first step in changing her life, but in a short period of time it had given her hope and helped fueled our continued work together.


This New Year, you must dig deep into your subconscious thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and interpretations of past experiences in order to make real, sustainable change.


Having an experienced Change Management Expert to help you uncover those thoughts and beliefs can accelerate the change process and help you see results much more rapidly.


In addition to reframing your subconscious thoughts and beliefs, here is a list of tips for achieving your New Year’s Resolutions this year:


1. Set realistic goals and make a concrete plan for success.


If your goal is to never eat dessert again, you are setting yourself up to fail. Make sure your goals are attainable, such as eating dessert only once or twice a week rather than every day. If you are unsure of how to break down your goals into smaller pieces and create a plan for success, hiring an experienced Life Coach can make all the difference. Together, we can clearly define your goals, break them into bite sized pieces, and set up a concrete plan for achieving them. While lots of experts and programs tell you what to do, I will give you the tools, techniques, and solutions to actually do it.


2. Don’t strive for perfection.


If you struggle with perfectionism, you actually have a deeply-held fear of failure. Perfectionists often don’t start until the circumstances are “perfect,” but since perfection doesn’t exist, they are subconsciously delaying starting altogether in order to avoid failure. Start NOW and don’t wait for everything to be “perfect”, because it never will be. Once you start, don’t expect yourself to be perfect every day. You will slip up occasionally, which is completely normal and does not mean you are a failure. Reframe the story you tell yourself about failure and when you inevitably have a failure, view it as an isolated incident. You are allowed to make mistakes, and making mistakes does not mean you won’t be successful. Do your best every single day, celebrate the small wins, and don’t beat yourself up when you have a bad day. Learn from your mistakes and apply that knowledge to the days ahead.


3. Hold yourself accountable.


If you make excuses every day for why you can’t do something, then you are holding yourself back and delaying your own success. If you can’t hold yourself accountable, hiring an experienced Life Coach might be the first change you need to implement in the New Year. A Life Coach will not only help you define your goals and make a concrete plan for achieving them, but will also hold you accountable to help you execute the plan.


Unsure of where to start this New Year? I can help. I have nearly 20 years of experience as a Change Management Expert and Certified Life Coach helping people reframe their deeply held negative beliefs and make action plans for achieving their goals. While lots of experts and programs tell you what to do, I'll give you proven trademarked tools, techniques, and solutions, based in Brain Science and Emotional Intelligence, to actually do it. I will be there to support you along the way and hold you accountable to your resolutions so you can step into the person you are meant to be in 2023.


Together we will create a plan that will lead you directly to success. You will learn my easy-to-learn, easy-to-use, and immediately relevant tools and techniques that are customized to your unique situation and that you will be able to utilize long after our coaching sessions are over.


Make 2023 your best year yet! Reach out today by Booking a Complimentary 30-Minute Discovery Call here and let’s Unlock Bold Change™ together.