What Are You Thankful For?

Thanksgiving is the holiday when millions of Americans celebrate what they’re thankful for, a time-honored tradition that is inherently steeped in gratitude and emotional intelligence. I think it is a particularly beautiful time of year, one that naturally encourages reflection, change, and community. From the transition from fall to winter, to the beginning of the end of the year, and the start of the holiday season, there is so much to look back on and so much to look forward to at the same time. It really is important that we take this time, specifically carved out, to practice gratitude and take full advantage of it.

Most people don’t take time out of their everyday lives to be purposely and consciously thankful for what they have for a multitude of reasons. Often, people aren't aware of the benefits of practicing gratitude. Coach Monique & Associates wants to make this Thanksgiving especially graceful, extending our hand to ensure people have the tools they need to express gratitude on Thanksgiving and every day. With daily practice, you can deepen your relationships, improve your emotional well-being, enhance confidence, build your resilience, and so much more.

First, let’s look at gratitude as a skill, not just as a feeling. Something we may not realize about being grateful is that, to let it sink in truly, it requires a certain level of self-reflection. This self-reflection requires taking time out of your day to realize how many crucial moving parts it takes for your life to run smoothly, from your support systems, to your home, health, and the privileges you may not even realize you have. The little things in your life are often the most important aspects that silently take place day in and day out; the things you would not recognize until they are gone. Who or what is there for you, working in tandem to help you accomplish what you do every day through the support provided? If you have a significant other, think about the emotional support they offer you. Break down how they alleviate that pressure, provide a comforting atmosphere to deal with those problems, or give you a way to release by lending an ear, hearing you out, and working through the messy parts of life with you. Shared struggle is half the struggle, and shared joy is twice the joy. Think about those whom you always bring your good news to first.... maybe it's your partner, or perhaps it's your closest friend, family group chat, or even your roommate. This will naturally strengthen your bonds, and as you do this more frequently, you will learn to be grateful for those you love and to love them more and more every day.

Your ability to feel empathy will expand, and you can do for others just as they do for you, leading them to be thankful just like you are for them. Be grateful for your community and your support system, the people you see all the time, or those only seen rarely. Each of them is a precious thread in the rich tapestry that is your life. We are a combination of everyone we have ever loved, so take the time to weigh how their lives have impacted yours for the better. No one can go through life alone. Be thankful for those who make your life special, magical, and even possible on a day-to-day basis or when it matters most.

The privileges in your life that others do not get to enjoy, such as travel, the ability to exercise, and your work. What you see as burdens, others may desire. Millions of Americans cannot afford to travel or make time to see their loved ones. The stress of air travel, or the drudgery of driving cross-country, should be something you are thankful for, as it is what allows you to spend the holidays with those who matter most. Taking care of your body is a lot of work, work we sometimes neglect or want to sacrifice.

This Thanksgiving, think of those who aren’t able to eat healthy, roll out of bed, and use their legs to walk to the bathroom or enjoy a pleasant stroll, or summon the strength to complete an hour of cardio. Take note of your health and how hard you have to work for it, and be thankful that it can be a part of your life. However, do not just be grateful for your ability to take care of yourself, but relish that you are building a better body for yourself; every mile run, weight lifted, and muscle stretched takes you one step closer to a healthier life. You are achieving, building, and practicing a sacred art of fitness. Reflect and even pat yourself on the back, you are both Michaelangelo and his most remarkable sculpture, David. While people were not designed to work 40-plus hours a week for 50 years, reflect on how your job or maybe your studies at school allowed you to afford the life you do, groceries, a car, and your rent. Unfortunately, we live in a time when many Americans can not find or keep their jobs. The hardest Mondays and easiest Fridays are both to be cherished, as they both allow you to live the life you do. Really dig deep and reflect on the sanctity of your basic needs being met day in and day out. You don’t have to worry about when your next meal will be or  live in a fight-or-flight mode. Our burdens may manifest as our purposes, but they remain the foundation for the quality of life. 

Long before the Mayflower, Pilgrims, and turkey dinners, there was an ancient Greek myth about a man, Sisyphus. Sisyphus was condemned to roll a massive boulder up a hill, and once he reached the top, the boulder would roll back down, and he would have to start all over again... this was his case for eternity. Some philosophers argue that Sisyphus found a life worth living or even peace in his damnation; they say he became thankful for it. How could that be, thankful for his eternal imprisonment and torture? In reality, that is really the secret to genuine gratitude. It is difficult, illogical, and unpleasant to think about, but you will never feel better about what you have. Examining every fiber of your life, every second of every day, the good, the bad, and the ugly, it's all you have, it's all your own life, and life is the most precious thing we possess, and it, above all, has to be cherished with gratitude, down to the last atom of being. However, this can not be achieved without resilience, the strength to move on, and look back on your struggles, knowing it has helped form who you are today after learning from what went wrong. Resilience is just as much about the path in front of you, using what you learned and having faith that it will get better, even if it won’t be tomorrow. Gratitude and resilience are symbiotic; they need each other to happen, and they build each other up. You will be stuck in pain and sorrow, never able to achieve thankfulness if you never first reach resilience. Once you have accepted everything in your life, you can appreciate it and be grateful for what you have.

What is laid out before you is not just the case for what you are thankful for on Thanksgiving, but the blueprint for gratitude in life. It will not be easy, and it may be uncomfortable. It does not need to become part of your day-to-day life to bear fruit. It is okay not to want to go to work Monday morning or resent your daily run, but whenever you can weave gratitude and resilience into your philosophy, especially on the most random days, make sure you lean into it and be grateful for what you have, even if it burdens you. You will reap the rewards and watch as your most average days become the things you are most thankful for! Happy Thanksgiving.