Life is all about the stories we tell ourselves, which is why the quality of your self-talk is one of the biggest indicators of happiness and success in life. When your self-talk is primarily negative, stressful, and limiting, happiness can be elusive and successfully meeting the challenges in life may be nearly impossible. This negative self-talk can start a vicious cycle of limiting beliefs that leads to a lack of success, which then supports those negative thoughts and beliefs and leads to even more of them.
The benefits of positive self-talk are countless, from improved coping skills when life throws you curveballs to reduced risk of depression. Because high stress is linked to physical and mental ailments, positive self-talk can even improve your health, so don’t delay, start today!
Here are five ways to change the conversations you have with yourself:
1. Recognize and identify negative thinking habits.
Are you someone who engages in very black and white thinking, meaning it’s either good or bad with very little middle ground? Do you personalize it when things go wrong instead of identifying failure as an isolated incident? Are you jumping to worst case scenarios right away? By first gaining awareness of your repetitive thoughts, you can then begin to make corrections.
2. Increase your exposure to humor.
Make it a point to smile more and don’t be afraid to laugh… Laughter is the best medicine! I will often tell clients to seek out opportunities to laugh, whether it is spending time with kids or watching their favorite comedian for 30 minutes a day. It’s also important to make light of difficult situations and try to find comedy in the situations that arise. For example, if you trip but you’re okay, rather than being embarrassed and letting yourself get upset, try to laugh at yourself! Taking certain situations too seriously when they often aren’t can be a negative way of dealing with them. Instead, do your best to not take life so seriously and laugh as often as you can.
3. Keep tabs on yourself throughout the day.
Observe your thoughts as they arise. You can’t do anything about something you are unaware of, so by building awareness around your self-talk, you can make positive changes and break old habits. My Brain Science-based tool, the Delete Delete™ Technique, is a powerful way to help you break old habits and change your thinking and your life. The Delete Delete™ Technique does two powerful things: it builds awareness of your thought patterns and helps you create gentle, non-judgmental corrections that interrupt the firing and wiring of the repetitive thoughts that aren’t serving you. After intentionally practicing the Delete Delete™ Technique for just three hours you will begin to recognize a positive shift in your thinking. Click this link for access to my Delete Delete™ Technique video which will give you a deeper explanation of the power of this groundbreaking technique and specific instructions for how to use it.
4. Visualize your happiest memories.
The mind makes very little distinction between what is happening in real time and what is being vividly recalled. There is real power in intentionally thinking about things that make you happy, whether that is simply taking a moment to bring to mind the face of a loved one or reflecting on your happiest memories. In doing this, you will increase dopamine levels (the feel good hormone) and lower cortisol (the stress hormone). I have developed a Brain-Science based tool, the Inner Smile™ Technique, that helps my clients take their very best life experience and use it as a positive trigger, thereby creating a shift in their mind, body, and energy to a better place.
5. Make it a priority to move your body every day.
This isn’t to say you must do an intense workout every day, but by going for a walk, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and making other small swaps throughout the day to get your body moving, you can increase your happiness, lower stress, and improve your self-talk. Research shows strong correlations between exercise, improved emotional well-being, and lower rates of mental health issues. Try exercising every day for a week and see how much better you feel!
It’s important to recognize that positive self-talk doesn’t mean living in denial or avoiding unpleasant emotions. It simply means you choose not to dwell on the negative and find ways to make the stories you tell yourself every day more positive and productive.
